#ah rp

[divine0rdainment]

Operation Replace Lilith AU

Adam dies at the end of season one and ends up back in the begining, as in back to when he was in the garden after being freshly created. Lilith is also there with him. And in a panic, he runs off in to the deeper parts of Eden to clear his head. When he's come to realize what's happened, he thinks about life and all his regrets, one of those regrets being that he suffered a lot and got very little reward. Honestly, Lilith kinda got the better end of the deal, she got a husband, a kid, a long life, and in the end, she even got to go to heaven after making a deal! So even tho she did all this bad she STILL got rewarded.

While Adam basicly ate an apple because his wife asked him to, got sent to earth, starved alot, got hurt alot, lost two sons in horrible ways, grew old and died, went to heaven, got bored of heaven real quick, got condescended to by the angels (Cough cough SERA), became an exterminator, was constantly ordered around by Sera, and then DIED AGAIN FOR DOING AS HE WAS TOLD, AFTER GETTING THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF HIM BY LUCIFER AND THEN STABBED BY A BUG!!!

NO, he would not be doing that again. So he makes a plan, he is going to take Liliths place! He's gonna seduce Lucifer, be the one to go to hell with Lucifer, become a king beside Lucifer, and then later be welcomed in to hell like Lilith was after popping out one kid. (He'd figure out how that would work later. Probebly magic.) And then live happily ever after after by abandoning his husband and child like Lilith did, and live the good afterlife!

Plan made, he goes out and waits for when Lucifer shows up. Still ignoring Lilith of course, much to the woman's anger. She doesn't know what she did wrong, but it's making her mad that he won't even TALK to her. Also Adam is inventing things, like clothing out of Sheep wool, and strings and ropes and baskets and even figuring out how to make spices already. So the angels are a bit confused. They thought it would take humans longer to learn this stuff. But here Adam was, building a house out of mud, trees, and rocks, making an Axe out of a sharpened rock ans a long stick and rope.

Lucifer is so fascinated he actually comes down to visit Adam to ask how he figured out to make all this, and Adams plan starts. Too bad the only flirting Adam knows is very sexual flirting that an angel wouldn't get. And the fact that Adam keeps using slang from the 90s-2000s, and Lucifer doesn't understand half the shit he says! But he's trying! The real problem is, Lucifer seems to be the one doing the seducing by complementing Adam all the time for the smallest thing, and always touching Adams arms and shoulder and hair, and holding his hand without reason, and looking him in the eye like Adam holds the stars up himself. Fuck. Adam! Head in the game! You will NOT fall for Lucifer! This is your second chance!!! Your last chance to have the good life! You can't risk it by accidently liking him!!! Hell, your not even gay!!!

[frankenkyle19]

The devils chocolate 🍫

Okay here it is!! Mmm it’s so 🥴 enjoy!

word count: 2.5k (Damn)

description: Tate likes chocolate. He finds chocolate in your closet. He eats it. Why does he want to fuck so bad? Aka Tate eats sex chocolate and gets incredibly horny aka pretend that sex chocolate actually does work this well (from what I’ve heard it does not, but let me live my life)

warnings: use of aphrodisiac chocolates, handjobs, blowjobs, male masturbation, whining, sub!Tate but also a bit of dom!Tate, protected sex (use a condom, be smart), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, that’s all I can think of right now, ENJOY!!! <3

Tate didn’t know what fucking sex chocolate was. He died in 1994 and was pretty sure that sex chocolate was not a thing while he was living. So how was he to know that when he found chocolate in your closet that he shouldn’t eat it? It was in a ziplock baggie, unlabeled and his curiosity got the best of him. As a ghost, he didn’t need to eat, but sometimes he did enjoy the occasional treat or two. And chocolate happened to be one of his favorite treats. You always brought him a chocolate bar when you got back from weekly shopping, but you hadn’t gone shopping this week. 

Tate was a nosy son of a bitch too. There was no hiding things from him, because he always snooped around no matter how many times he’d been in your room. It was slightly annoying, but oh well. 

So he had sat on your bed, eating all ten mini chocolate bars, grinning. He figured you hid it from him because you wanted it all to yourself, but he had found it. That’s what you get for hiding his favorite treat from him.

He stuffed the ziplock baggie back into the closet and popped back into your bed, curling up on top of the covers as he awaited your return. 

As he laid there, he began to feel… odd. A warmth had begun to bubble in his lower stomach. His skin felt hot, like fire almost, and he thought maybe he had gotten sick. But no, that couldn’t be it. He didn’t get sick as a ghost. So what was it?

He sat up, rubbing at his sweaty blonde curls, pushing them off of his sweat slicked forehead as he took a deep breath. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked down to see the very prominent bulge in his jeans. Why was he hard? He didn’t really feel horny? He shrugged it off, figuring it would go away soon enough. His forever teenaged hormones sometimes got the better of him, and he assumed this was just one of those times.

But it didn’t go away. It in fact become worse. So much worse that he ached, the confines of his jeans proving uncomfortable against his ever growing erection. What had gotten into him? He checked the time and figured he still had a while before you got home, so why not just rub one out? Sure, your touch felt so much better than his own, but at this rate he didn’t think he could wait for you to get home, plus he was a bit embarrassed. 

He shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable as he popped the button on his jeans. A quiet sigh of relief left his lips as some of the pressure lifted. He slid them down just to his knees, hoping this would be quick and he could redress as if nothing happened. Next: the boxers. They were oddly more wet than usual, his cock seeming to seep pre-cum. He usually did produce quite a bit, but this? Geesh this was extreme. He slid them off, grimacing at the stickiness it left in its wake. 

His cock was red, tip dripping and searing hot. Slapping his stomach as it was released from its confines, it twitched, signaling that he really needed to start fucking touching himself before it got worse.

Tate was an impatient person. He wanted what he wanted and he wanted it then and there. Why should he have to wait? So, he spat into his hand before gingerly wrapping it around his engorged length, mouth falling open as a heavy breath fell from them. Your hand would feel much better, but right now his felt pretty fucking good.

A few strokes in had him whining. Tate was always loud, didn’t matter if he was alone or with you. He always made his pleasure known. He thumbed over the tip, spreading the viscous liquid that seemed to pour from his sensitive cock head. God how he wished you were here right now.

A few more pumps of his rock hard cock had his stomach tensing, lip bitten tightly between his teeth as he struggled to keep his eyes open. It felt so good, but at the same time not enough. He wanted you. Your touch. Your warmth. 

“Fuck- fuck fuck please-“ he cried into the empty space, bucking into his hand as he got closer to his release.

Poor poor boy. Little did he know you had just gotten home, with his Hershey chocolate bar. If he’d just been patient… 

You called out his name but he was so lost in his pleasure that he hadn’t heard.

He also didn’t hear when you made your way up the stairs to your room, a puzzled looking crossing your face at the quiet mumbled whines and pleas coming from inside. Then it dawned on you. It was Tate. He was probably too horny to wait for you to get home and was getting himself off.

You decided to watch him for a moment in silence, watching how his hand flew rapidly over his cock, practically squeezing the life out of it as he got right to that edge.

He was so far gone that when you fully opened the door and stepped inside, he couldn’t stop. He saw you, but made no move to cover himself up. His cheeks burned red in embarrassment, a drastic difference from the way his hand rubbed over his cock.

He looked at you with wide eyes, pleading. He just prayed you wouldn’t stop him. He wouldn’t be able to handle it, really. It would kill him if he wasn’t already dead. Hell, it may re-kill him. 

You closed the door behind you and took a step towards the bed, seeing how distressed he was. You’d punish him later, but now you saw how much he needed this.

“Cum, Tate.” Was all you mumbled, all he needed before his hips seized up, head thrown back into the pillow as ropes of hot, white cum spurted from his cock, falling over his chest and hand.

You sat beside him on the bed, marveling at just how wrecked he looked. Panting, sweaty and… still hard?

Sure, Tate had good stamina but it always took him at least five minutes to regain an erection after a release.

He seemed to notice it too, groaning.

“What the fuck- I- it’s like I wasn’t even horny and then just- BAHM! You’re hard… and it feels different. Like more intense. It’s weird.”

His words made you stifle a laugh and he looked at you with a frown, obviously upset that you were laughing at him.

You stood up, walking to your closet and opening it. There it was. The now empty ziplock baggie that once contained your special chocolate. 

“Tate please tell me you didn’t eat all of those-“

“I was gonna save you some but it tasted so good- it was fancy chocolate, not like the Hershey bars. I figured you were hogging it from me.”

You held up the Hershey bar in your hand. “I got this for you, Tate. That was for me.”

“Well you shouldn’t have hid it from me. That’s mean, so I ate it. Alllll of it- agh fuck- god my dick hurts-“ he groaned, looking up at you with a pained expression.

“Yeah no fucking shit-“

He looked confused.

“Tate you ate all of them… seriously? Oh my god- you’re going to be so sick-“

“Why? Was it poisoned?”

“No! It’s- it’s an aphrodisiac… the chocolate.. oh Jesus-“

He began to squirm “I didn’t graduate highschool and You expect me to know what that word means?”

“Sex chocolate, Tate. I got it from a sex store because I wanted to try it with you… I put it in the ziplock so my parents wouldn’t see the wrappers.. you..you’re not supposed to eat more than one in a three hours and no more than four in a day… Tate, you ate ten of them.”

“…oops?”

“Do you feel okay?” You asked, voice taking on a worried tone.

“Other than my dick? Yeah I think so. I’m just- really hot- and- mmm can you please touch me? Just a little bit- you can just jerk me off- I’ll take anything.” 

There it was. The begging already started. How could you say no to him? Part of you wanted to punish him, but it seemed as if he was already punishing himself. He realized his mistake.

“So it’s like- when a man takes viagra to get hard?”

“Kind of. It enhances things-“ without warning you wrapped your hand around Tate’s poor, hard and dripping dick, causing him to lurch forward. If he thought his touch felt good, yours felt like heaven. He swore it was the best thing he’d ever experienced.

“Can you- s-suck it?” He whined, bucking into your hand. “Please it’s been sooooo long since you’ve given me head- I need it so bad baby-“ the last time you gave him head he had came in your mouth with no warning. You weren’t a fan of his cum, or any really, so you didn’t enjoy it. 

“I promise I won’t cum in your mouth-“ he continued “please please pretty please?” He was always so good with his begging that you gave in, leaning down to take the tip into your mouth. You grimaced a bit at the taste of his previous release. Many people liked the taste of cum, but you had just never seen the appeal. Still, you continued down his cock until your nose hit the bush of curls on his groin.

Tate felt like he was having a heart attack. He writhed on the bed, hips bucking into your mouth but then pulling away. It was too much, but it wasn’t enough at the same time. 

“F-fuck- fuck I’m so sorry for eating that chocolate-“

“I bet you are, baby.” You popped off his dick to reply before letting your tongue swirl over the tip in a teasing manner.

A tear dropped from Tate’s eye at your teasing. He had never felt this needy or desperate in his entire life. He wanted this to end, but at the same time he didn’t. And all the while a deep ache settled into his stomach. He had taken too much, and it was beginning to border on uncomfortable. He vowed that once this was over, he’d never eat an unlabeled chocolate bar ever ever again. Maybe any chocolate ever for that matter.

He already felt himself teetering on the edge again, already, and cursed himself more for eating that damn chocolate, practically overdosing himself on it. He certainly was paying the price for it.

“Close-“ he choked out which caused you to pull your mouth away, replacing it with your hand. “You’ve got this baby, c’mon, cum for me.” You cooed.

Tate bit his bottom lip hard, eyes welling with tears “can I- can I fuck you too? I think Im going to need to cum again after this-“ he panted, every inch of his pale body covered with sweat as he fucked up into your hand. 

He came with a shout, hips bucking out of control as he shuddered from the aftershocks. 

Once you were sure you’d helped him through it, you pulled your hand away, looking him over in awe.

“Of course you can, I’m here darling, couldn’t let my poor boy suffer? What kind of person would that make me?” 

In an instant you were pinned to the bed, Tate hovering above you as he looked down on you hungrily before pulling you into a hot, hard kiss, teeth clashing and whines being pulled from both of your mouths. 

He all but ripped off your shirt, letting the material fall off before he unclipped your bra and tossed it away as well. The next few moments happened in a lust filled blur. He reached into your bedside table and pulled out a condom before ripping off the remainder of your clothing.

“Please can I fuck you? I need it so bad- need to feel you around my cock.” He cried, sliding the condom onto his never wavering hard cock.

In response to his question, you hooked your ankles around his waist and pulled him down on top of you, urging him towards your wet core.

“Of course baby, fuck me as hard as you need to.” 

He didn’t need any more convincing than that. He thrust balls deep inside you, giving you just a split second to adjust before he was pulling back out and slamming back into you. It always amazed you how quick Tate could go from a whining blubbering mess to this… 

You clenched around him, milking his cock, which caused a loud moan to fall from his lips. He was so sensitive, but he needed it. Just one more. This had to be it, his body couldn’t take it anymore. 

His hips slammed into your brutally, his pelvis hitting your clit perfectly, the mix of harsh pain and pleasure nearly making you drool. You loved when Tate fucked you like this. So raw and animalistic.

You could tell when he was getting close by the way his hips lost their rhythm, and his arms got shaky as he held himself up above you.

You pulled him down for a kiss, urging him on as you reached down to rub at your clit, the bundle of nerves on fire and ready to explode any second.

Tate growled at your actions, slapping your hand away and replacing it with his own. How dare you? He wanted to be the one to pleasure you. It forever boosted his ego and edged on his pleasure seeing how you fell apart under him.

When he came, it was with the most pathetic, loud cry you’d ever heard. Tears dropped down from his beautiful eyes as he collapsed onto you.

You came nearly the exact same time he had, body trembling and clenching around him as the coil snapped, waves of pleasure washing over you.

You had to end up rolling Tate off of you over onto his side as he was too exhausted to do so himself. He smiled sleepily up at you, finally looking content. Thank god. 

You cleaned him up with a warm washcloth and got fresh sheets and blankets for the bed. You got him a glass of water as well. Though he didn’t need It per say, you wanted him to know you cared about him. Tate loved being babied during aftercare, and you found many ways to show your love to him through these acts.

Curled up next to you, finally redressed, breath having evened out, he let his eyes fall shut. His stomach rolled a bit as he thought about the chocolate. God that damn chocolate… never again, he thought. But luckily for him, if it ever were to happen again (god forbid), at least he had you to help him through it. 

[therealkaianderson]

Get on your knees little lamb ౨ৎ

[ilona-art]

A (small) selection of works I've made in the past featuring Enya and Ace since I absolutely love these two dorks and they live rent-free in my head 24/7 ;-; <3 Artworks sponsored by ArenaNet

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Husk do you ever cough up furballs?

"Do I seriously have to answer this bullshit?!"

"He does! I've seen it!"

[entertainmates]

sorry tohri [also version with no cape]

[andtheylive]

careful, this is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life for one last scare.

. . . NOT IN MY MOVIE.

[mistyday-witch]

who wants to smoke weed with me whilst listening to Stevie Nicks?

[jaegraph]

im jinah ( nana ) (( more ))

pour @pab0sarang sur @rewritetheorders 💕

[twisty-theclown]

I hope everyone is having a great day !! Remember to spread love, not hate 🥰

[doodlebloo]

Tubbo's got such a specific RP style I can't explicitly describe it but after seeing him RP a few different characters with varying levels of sincerity it becomes clear. His RP style has its merits and it has its drawbacks but its HIS yknow. Everything he RPs is so clearly a TUBBO character always

[lady-quen]

Verse: The Hound, The Haggard, and the Haunted

Posting an initial version of the lore being cooked between myself, @rostomanologist and @commanderteag ! The context will pretty much be necessary to understand most of the humor oscillating between these chucklefucks :) Chaos plant trio is a thing now.

The Dawnborn Maelmordha and Duskborn Kimarse have known one another since approximately 1320 AE as saplings, at least until Mael's Wyld Hunt and Kima's run-in with the Inquest ensured no further contact. The two wouldn't properly meet again until sometime after 1330 AE, during Commander Maelmordha's Elonian campaigns.

Owing to his death at the hands of Balthazar, Mael, now a lich, struggles with controlling his Diabolist powers, opting to utilize sealing tattoos and enchanted chains to stall the demon essence from consuming his soul. It was after the conflict with the War God that Maelmordha and Kimarse met again, the latter traveling in the area out of curiosity about the Awakened Inquest rampaging in Tyria.

The so-called Thanatologist caught onto the "deal" with the Pact Commander rather quickly and, armed with potential blackmail material, figured it most beneficial for them both to engage in a contract. An undying subject for the death scholar and possible help with his condition for the Commander, especially with Kimarse's Revenant former acquaintance in the picture - Noereen, haunted by the spectre of a legendary White Mantle well-versed in bloodstone magics. A bloodstone collar could be forged to act as a magic buffer, but a sample was required, and, well, with most equipment simply dissolving within the Commander's chest portal and the man himself being unable to perform the procedure, Kimarse thought it best to ward her left hand, plunge it in and hope for the best. She managed to pull out the demon core now replacing the Commander's heart for study, but lost the appendage to extreme frostbite. A tradeoff, just like Tyr lost his hand in the jaws of Fenrir - in order to apply Gleipnir.

Enter Maolmuire, a formidable Mesmer with an unsettling connection to the Dream and the sword Caladbolg.

Maolmuire of the Noon, awakened approximately 1330 AE, is a member of a cycle which suffered malformations following the Pale Mother's injury at the claws of the Shadow of the Dragon. Born with a warped right arm and a pair of wings, he stands out from his fellow sylvari, but what happened to his corporeal form is scarcely his only affliction. His connection to the Dream far too strong to the point of being unable to separate his own memories from those of its denizens, Maol's waking and sleeping moments alike are dominated by the three Knights of the Thorn: the Valiant Riannoc, the Marshal Trahearne, and the Commander, Maelmordha. The three personalities blend within him, and a destiny laid out by the Astral Ward itself sends him on a quest into the desert to find the Commander. With expert mesmeric magic, he is able to infiltrate even the Order of Shadows until he eventually confronts the Commander, now a different beast altogether than the pre-death image which yet remained of him inside the Dream.

In spite of being walking reminders of one another's worst traumas, Maelmordha and Maolmuire work together, with the former's condition and ever-fresh grief for the Pact Marshal making the burden of the lich-slaying Caladbolg infinitely heavy. Following the campaign against Palawa Joko, he attempts to return the sword, only to be met with rejection - for now. Indeed, it isn't long before the Mother receives a mysterious vision and nominates the Fourth Knight, who happens to be none other than Maolmuire himself.

The three keep in contact and work together in the future, out of selfless and selfish reasons alike.

[frankenkyle19]

🌼Touched By A Zombie🌼

Request

word count: 878

warnings: a bit of suggestive touching (Kyle doesn’t understand the difference)

Kyle had many different ways he showed his affection. Especially towards you. Grabbing, squeezing, holding and even biting. When he couldn’t find words, his hands told you exactly what they wanted. You. Comfort. He was constantly touching you in one way or another because he needed to feel that security. To know you were right there.

The first day he bit down on your neck you were very very surprised. You were holding his hand, carefully rubbing your thumb across his knuckles when he leaned into you, letting his lips trail across your neck before they bite down. He did bite hard enough to leave a mark, but not too hard that it drew blood. 

It had scared you for a moment before you realized that he was doing it for affection. He had so much love inside of him for you that this was the only way (he thought) to get it out. 

He also always had to have his hands on you. On your waist, around your neck, on your shoulder, even sometimes your bum. Kyle had no ulterior motive for these touches even if some would see them as sexual. Sure, he did enjoy those special times he got to spend with you, but he truly could not tell the difference it made where he put his hands. 

He always liked to hook his thumbs into the loops on your jeans and stay close to you, following like a small child following their mother in a grocery store.

Wherever you were, Kyle was too.

It had been quite hard to teach Kyle boundaries. That sometimes you needed a break. He did learn though, you taught him that when you needed space he could go outside or even play a game on the tablet. 

Kyle always made sure it was known that you were his. He didn’t share you with anyone. If someone looked at you even a bit too long, he was pulling you closer and pressing kisses across the expanse of your shoulders.

He also loves to squeeze your hips and any fat you had there. The more the better in his opinion. He loved having your body to knead in his hands. He literally spends hours just holding you.

You’d been trying to teach him when and where he was allowed to touch you. That sometimes it wasn’t exactly appropriate. He’d whine and huff, mumbling out a complaint. Why couldn’t he touch his girl? 

“Mnghh- h-h-holdddd” he’d groan, hands reaching for you. You’d end up giving up and letting him do as he pleased but over time, he did manage to learn some decency.

Another thing he loved was for you to sit in his lap. He loved holding you and if you were even thinking of sitting down, it better be in his lap. The weight of you against him instantly relaxed him. Like a human shaped weighted blanket. He’d play with your hair as you sat atop his lap, a low hum coming from his chest, which he did when he was very happy.

You did practically everything together. Eat. Sleep. Shower (because Kyle is scared of showers and the water pressure, you found out,) if you’re doing something, Kyle is going to find a way to be included in it. 

While at times he could be so rough, and his fine motor skills struggled, hands a bit rougher than they might normally be. The more used to his new body he got, the better his motor skills got. Soon enough he was playing with your hair and trying to make elaborate hairstyles. (Which turned out quite bad but you wore them anyway because your sweet Kyle had done it)

He also always wanted to wash your hair whenever you two would shower together. Unlike some people, Kyle acted no different around you clothed or nude. You could be stark naked in front of him and he would just smile and hug you. He didn’t mind nor care at all. 

Now one of the things he did that was a bit more risky than the rest of his touches was when he would squeeze your bum or your breasts. They were basically his stress balls. Why were they there if he wasn’t allowed to squeeze them? This was more reserved for when you two are alone, but he always tries to sneak and squeeze your butt when you’re in public. You never have it in you to scold him, his face gets him out of trouble all the time.

Overall, once he is more accustomed to being alive again, he’s perfect. Sometimes he has the occasional outbursts, but he’s so sweet every other second of the day. He was everything you could ever ask for. He thought the same about you. How was he so lucky to end up with you? That’s what went through his foggy brain whenever he laid eyes on you (when does he ever take them off of you to begin with?) His.

His his his. Like a mantra stuck in his head. Yours and no one else’s. And the same went for him. He never ever thought of anyone else the way he thought of you. He loved you more than any words could ever explain.

[therealkaianderson]

I won the election. I am now President of the United States of America!

[temporarywelcome]

oh shit I have this blog to write not flirt with the evans wait a minute

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Angel, Husk, thank you so much for the birthday wishes! I had a great day that day. I even went and saw that new Deadpool movie with Wolverine in it. Also, I found this on Facebook the other day and I thought it was the cutest art ever. What do you think?

"Oh, that is so cute! Dontcha think, Husk?"

"Heh. Yeah, it is."